The word conformity comes from the root word “conform” which means do as others do, adapt, comply, be or become similar, to be in agreement, to act in accordance. Conformity therefore refers to a person’s wish or desire to be like everyone else, to do what everybody does, to wear what the majority wears, to speak the way other people speak. In vernacular, to conform means gusto natin maging “in” sa grupo, gusto natin sumunod sa uso or in terms of relating with other people, nakikisama tayo, nakikigaya sa karamihan. Conformity becomes a problem when you start giving in to that familiar saying that goes “when you’re not in, you’re out”, when you begin to have difficulty maintaining your own belief in the face of others, when you begin accepting other people’s ideas even if you do not fully agree with them. You conform because you want to be accepted, you are afraid to be different from the majority. Takot kang maging iba, Takot masabihan o mapagtawanan ng iba. Part of growing up is learning to stand for what you believe in and not on what others are doing or saying.
“Pakikisama” as a form of “pakikipagkapwa” in our culture is just one of the many levels and modes of social interaction we use in relating with other people. And for teenagers like you, pakikisama is important in relating with your barkada or peer group. And most of the time, the young Filipino teen is put into great pressure na makisama or else KJ ka or di ka “in” sa grupo or “boring ka”. Whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances, the usual result is that the teen would rather “give in” and conform to what the barkada wants rather than to be labeled KJ or worst to become an outcast or walang kabarkada. Teenagers nowadays call those teen who cause trouble “BI or Bad Influence”. And although some could resist, most of the time teen have difficulty saying “NO” to these pressures.
One reason why conformity is dangerous is that more often than not, it can cause a person to do wrong things or it can lead a person to do dangerous things like smoking, taking drugs, drinking liquor, joining fraternities or gangs, or even rob someone. When a person doesn’t have the courage to be different and take a stand on his own values and beliefs, that person becomes an easy prey or target of PEER PRESSURE and that person can easily be swayed or persuaded to do things he doesn’t want to do in the first place. That’s why it is important to have real friends, people whom you can trust and depend on no matter what, people who listen and care enough to understand your strength and weaknesses, and people who believed and accept you for what you are.
Peer pressure is a social force exerted by a group or powerful/admired individual within a group. It is generally a pressure to conform to a social norm within any given group. Not all peer pressure is bad. Social norms are a very important part of human interaction and group dynamics. Social norms are expectations that a group has of its members usually related to behavior. Since most social norms contribute to the smooth interaction of individuals within a society, peer pressure that promotes conforming to these norms serves a positive purpose. When social norms become deviant or harmful or when the social norms in a group are radically different to the generally accepted social norms of a society, then we consider them to be "bad". When most people think of peer pressure they are thinking of the pressure to conform to a deviant behavior set. Things like drug use, underage alcohol use, promiscuous sexual conduct, violent or aggressive acting out, or criminal behavior are examples of the negative peer pressure associated with teens.
(Source: Making a Difference for Teens, Lito S. Jara, 1998)
Tips on dealing with Negative Peer Pressure by Alison Bell
1. Ask 101 Questions. For example, if a pal pressures you to smoke, ask him why he smokes, how long had he smoked, if he minds astray breath. Asking questions puts the other person on the defensive.
2. Say No like You Mean It. Make eye contact, and then say forcefully, with authority. The more certain you are in your refusal, the less people will bug you.
3. Back up a No with a Positive Statement. For example, if you’re turning down an offer to smoke pot, say something like, “I like my lungs the way it is, thanks.”
4. Be Repetitive. Don’t hesitate to state your position over and over again.
5. Practice Saying No. Practice saying NO in safe environment, like when your big brother asks you if you’d like to spend Saturday night doing his laundry.
6. Get away from the Pressure Zone. Leave the scene………… Make your exit.
7. Avoid Stressful Situations in the First Place. If you know there’s going to be an alcohol or drugs at the party, make other plans. Or, if you’re going out with a guy, avoid being alone with him.
8. Use Buddy System. Find a friend who shares your values and back each other up.
9. Consider the Results of Giving In. Take a moment to think about the consequences of your actions.
10. Look for Possible Role Models. Ever notice that the real popular and successful students in your school are those who aren’t afraid to say what they like and don’t like?
11. Don’t buy the line that “Everyone is Doing It”. The truth is, everyone is not doing it.
12. Seek Support. Talk out any peer pressure you’re experiencing with other friends who are also feeling the squeeze. It can be reassuring to know that you’re not the only one.
13. Be your Own Best Friend. Remind yourself every now and then that you’re special and don’t mind any negative statements.
14. Evaluate Your Friendships. If your friends are always bugging you to do something you’re not comfortable with, remember that true friends like you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
15. Find New Friends. If you decided that your friends don’t have your best interests at heart, search out new friends who share your values and interests.
IV. Journal Writing
1. Cite one experience wherein you have experienced negative peer pressure.
2. How did you react to it? Why?
3. How did you feel about your reaction/decision?
4. What have you learned/realized from your experience?
“Pakikisama” as a form of “pakikipagkapwa” in our culture is just one of the many levels and modes of social interaction we use in relating with other people. And for teenagers like you, pakikisama is important in relating with your barkada or peer group. And most of the time, the young Filipino teen is put into great pressure na makisama or else KJ ka or di ka “in” sa grupo or “boring ka”. Whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances, the usual result is that the teen would rather “give in” and conform to what the barkada wants rather than to be labeled KJ or worst to become an outcast or walang kabarkada. Teenagers nowadays call those teen who cause trouble “BI or Bad Influence”. And although some could resist, most of the time teen have difficulty saying “NO” to these pressures.
One reason why conformity is dangerous is that more often than not, it can cause a person to do wrong things or it can lead a person to do dangerous things like smoking, taking drugs, drinking liquor, joining fraternities or gangs, or even rob someone. When a person doesn’t have the courage to be different and take a stand on his own values and beliefs, that person becomes an easy prey or target of PEER PRESSURE and that person can easily be swayed or persuaded to do things he doesn’t want to do in the first place. That’s why it is important to have real friends, people whom you can trust and depend on no matter what, people who listen and care enough to understand your strength and weaknesses, and people who believed and accept you for what you are.
Peer pressure is a social force exerted by a group or powerful/admired individual within a group. It is generally a pressure to conform to a social norm within any given group. Not all peer pressure is bad. Social norms are a very important part of human interaction and group dynamics. Social norms are expectations that a group has of its members usually related to behavior. Since most social norms contribute to the smooth interaction of individuals within a society, peer pressure that promotes conforming to these norms serves a positive purpose. When social norms become deviant or harmful or when the social norms in a group are radically different to the generally accepted social norms of a society, then we consider them to be "bad". When most people think of peer pressure they are thinking of the pressure to conform to a deviant behavior set. Things like drug use, underage alcohol use, promiscuous sexual conduct, violent or aggressive acting out, or criminal behavior are examples of the negative peer pressure associated with teens.
(Source: Making a Difference for Teens, Lito S. Jara, 1998)
Tips on dealing with Negative Peer Pressure by Alison Bell
1. Ask 101 Questions. For example, if a pal pressures you to smoke, ask him why he smokes, how long had he smoked, if he minds astray breath. Asking questions puts the other person on the defensive.
2. Say No like You Mean It. Make eye contact, and then say forcefully, with authority. The more certain you are in your refusal, the less people will bug you.
3. Back up a No with a Positive Statement. For example, if you’re turning down an offer to smoke pot, say something like, “I like my lungs the way it is, thanks.”
4. Be Repetitive. Don’t hesitate to state your position over and over again.
5. Practice Saying No. Practice saying NO in safe environment, like when your big brother asks you if you’d like to spend Saturday night doing his laundry.
6. Get away from the Pressure Zone. Leave the scene………… Make your exit.
7. Avoid Stressful Situations in the First Place. If you know there’s going to be an alcohol or drugs at the party, make other plans. Or, if you’re going out with a guy, avoid being alone with him.
8. Use Buddy System. Find a friend who shares your values and back each other up.
9. Consider the Results of Giving In. Take a moment to think about the consequences of your actions.
10. Look for Possible Role Models. Ever notice that the real popular and successful students in your school are those who aren’t afraid to say what they like and don’t like?
11. Don’t buy the line that “Everyone is Doing It”. The truth is, everyone is not doing it.
12. Seek Support. Talk out any peer pressure you’re experiencing with other friends who are also feeling the squeeze. It can be reassuring to know that you’re not the only one.
13. Be your Own Best Friend. Remind yourself every now and then that you’re special and don’t mind any negative statements.
14. Evaluate Your Friendships. If your friends are always bugging you to do something you’re not comfortable with, remember that true friends like you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
15. Find New Friends. If you decided that your friends don’t have your best interests at heart, search out new friends who share your values and interests.
IV. Journal Writing
1. Cite one experience wherein you have experienced negative peer pressure.
2. How did you react to it? Why?
3. How did you feel about your reaction/decision?
4. What have you learned/realized from your experience?
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